Why I'm happy to drop my last name and am not looking back

 

Since being engaged I’ve been asked numerous times if I would be adopting my husband-to-be’s last name. To me it was no brainer, ever since I comprehended the concept of marriage (age four or five) I always knew my days of being Miss Candida Lathbridge were numbered, and I’ve always accepted that. But after reading this radical article on Cosmo entitled ‘In the Age of the Internet, Changing Your NameWhen You Marry Is a Terrible Idea’ I was compelled to write about my reasons for my decision.

1.Biblical

Firstly, the changing of the last name is is purely a cultural convention that people adopt in order to signify the union between two people becoming “one flesh”. I personally look at it this way. In the bible it states that when a man and a woman are married, “they are no longer two, but one flesh” (Mark 10:8). But why should it be the man’s name that is taken and not the womans? By adopting the name of the husband it is reinforcing the man as the headship and provider of the family and the home, the nurturer and protector (Ephesians 5:23).

2. Children

Having the same last name as my fiancé will save a lot of confusion with my future children. It will eliminate hyphens and will save us from having to explain why mummy and daddy have different names. In my household we are all Lathbridges, and growing up it really felt like we are one strong union and that’s something I would love to emulate one day.

3. New identity 

Taking on my fiancé’s surname not only signifies the new direction I will be taking, but it also represents the new identity I'll have as a wife, and God willing, one day a mother. Of course, being married doesn't make me any less of an individual but I’ll choose to identify myself as part of a unit and ultimately, part of a new family. 

4. For him!

But for me, one of the most important reasons is the fact that it will make my fiancé a really happy man! It’s such a loving gesture showing my commitment to him and that I want to be part of him and his life. Taking his name is not the only way of showing this, but it is a very visible way that will make us feel a lot closer. And who wouldn’t want to start off their marital journey in harmony right?

I have always been super attached to my surname so it will be really difficult for me to part with it. Also there aren’t many Lathbridges, so it’s so easy to connect with family members around the world. But one of the hardest things for me will definitely be the separation I will feel from my immediate family, as I’ll be the only family member who will not have a different surname. OK, if I think too hard about that one I might just change my mine haha!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so please feel free to leave your comments below.